Extraction- The process of removal for the greater good.
Applied upon family it reads more like a punishment.
“You’re being cruel, ” he emails me weekly.
“Unsupportive…”
… selfish.”
“ Mean.”
All effective synonyms, I circle like a crossword.
My email had become a log of Uber receipts, upcoming sales for Princess Polly and a 56-year-old man’s loneliest thoughts.
He uses this to reach me, to express he cares.
However, to the recipient of such messages, it reads more like force-fed guilt.
I usually read them in transit, amongst the safety of strangers. That way, I’m more inclined to have a ‘civilized’ response that numbs vivid displays of emotion. I also read them when I’m drunk and feeling fearless.
Each email varies depending on the time of day. Anything in the morning is polite and action-only. Post 9 pm and the words come dripping in red, the same shade of his second glass of wine. Sorrowful yet personal like a Norah Jones album.
The ideas grow foggy and messy after 10. Extreme emotion exhausting for some.
So when it comes it just swallows him.
And as his child (and someone a third of his age) it’s my responsibility to be in charge of his feelings.
To take accountability of his decisions, like they are my own. I must have signed this consent form as a baby, with a pen between my toes…
because that’s what family means, right?
Four walls leading to one address.
One last-name.
However, what my dad chooses not to take note of is why.
The ‘why’ being so important.
‘Why,’ answers everything.
Every answer worth knowing is opened with the simple word, the question (and even in simpler circles), the letter.
Y; the only letter at the end of the alphabet that should really be at the front.
The front of our minds, the first thing on our tongues before anger or sadness; before we leave.
The quickest way to understanding the world as it is. And learning to accept it starts with
*Y-b-c-d-e-f-g-h…
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Beyond-curious 